Four months ago, my husband and I lost our baby girl, Kaiya Rae, to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). She was born June 17th, 2010. She was a happy, loving, smiley, social and just an overall wonderful baby. Two parents could not ask for a better baby. She was happy 95% of the time. She started sleeping 8-10 hours a night starting at 6 weeks old! She was easy to entertain. She loved bath time. For five amazing months, she would be the light in our lives, our little everything.  She would be called “perfect” and “awesome” by her pediatrician at her well-baby visits. Then on November 16th, 2010 our world came crashing down. Kaiya was found barely breathing and limp in her crib at the babysitter’s, just 10-15 minutes after being put down for a nap. We were called at work and told she was being rushed to the hospital, not breathing. When we arrived, we were told our baby was not breathing and had no heart beat. We were brought to see her where they were still administering CPR.  I’m not sure how long I was in that room for, but I held her hand, I talked to her, I talked to God. Miraculously, over an hour after being found lifeless, her heart started beating again, and her body turned pink again. She was transferred to Nationwide Children’s Hospital where over the next 24 hours she would be kept alive by lots of medication, and a machine breathing for her. The doctors would search for a cause, and none would be found. We would pray for a miracle, and one wouldn’t come. On November 17th, 2010 at 5:15pm we turned off the machines keeping our brain dead baby alive. Her brain just could not have endured all that time without oxygen. Our wonderful, beautiful, “perfect”, “awesome” baby was gone. She had been completely healthy. There is absolutely no known reason for her death. Investigations, medical tests and an autopsy would reveal no foul play, no abuse or injury and no illness. Nothing could explain why she stopped breathing that day.

Sometime over the course of all those gruesome hours in hospital rooms someone told my husband about a charity organization called First Candle. After Kaiya passed and we somehow pulled ourselves together to make funeral arrangements, we decided to ask for donations to First Candle, in lieu of flowers. We never knew how much this organization would come to mean to us. Over the next few days and weeks we received letters, books, and other helpful supplies from the wonderful people at First Candle.

Little yellow cards with the names of friends, family, and even strangers who donated to Kaiya’s memorial fund began pouring in. She received two leaves for the Tree of Hope, and we purchased a foundation block in her memory. We know that she will always be a special part of something now, with her name on that tree, and the money donated in her name going toward research to find a cause and cure for SIDS. First Candle has been there to support us in ways we never knew strangers could.

Two months after losing Kaiya, I met a mom whose two week old baby girl had just passed away, due to “undetermined” causes. I knew I needed to support this mom and help her through this difficult time, but I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I enlisted First Candle. I requested a copy of the book we had received, “SIDS and Infant Death Survival Guide” be sent to my newly bereaved friend. Not only did she receive this book, but also a slew of other wonderful and helpful things.  When I didn’t know what to do or say to help her, First Candle was there to do it for me!  Sometime in the upcoming year we hope to make a trip to Maryland to see the Tree of Hope and find Kaiya’s name. This is not a club anyone ever asks to join, but for those of us who are forced to, I am so glad First Candle exists.

~ Andrea Purvis, Kaiya Rae’s Momma

Last Updated: Sep 21, 2011