Welcome to the “Spring Edition” of Counselor’s Corner. In many ways this feels like the beginning of the year.  This is echoed for many people in celebrations of new beginnings, weather changing and new activities and challenges to face. What follows are some thoughts for how to cope and continue to heal during this time.  Please take what works for you, feel free to leave the rest and please comment if you wish!

Lately I’ve been hearing a lot about how the nicer weather leads to more activities out of the house and how difficult this can be for families who have experienced a loss.  It is natural to notice more when we are exposed to new things  and to experience additional feelings of loss.  Additionally, parents may suffer from guilt from not being able to fully enjoy their other children’s activities, or even guilt when they do!

Coping with this can be a strain, but knowing it may be coming, can help you to prepare.  It can be empowering and healing to take control of your self-talk and the use of some prepared self-talk can help to insulate you, protect you, and carry you through the tidal wave of emotions.  Journaling a list that helps you to express yourself in your own words is best, but here are some ideas to get you started:

• What I am feeling is natural and normal and it does not make me a bad person.
• I know that I have people I can talk to that have had similar experiences.

Telling yourself these affirming statements can help build your strength, even if you do not believe them, at first!

Beware of the effects that changing weather can have on your health, mentally and physically.  Increased sunlight can increase your energy, but can also make you feel guilty for not taking advantage of a nice day.  Try not to fall into that trap or use the excuse not to take care of yourself.  Creating the space, time and compassion to adjust to yet another change can be helpful.

We know that hearing from other families is the most important kind of support you can receive.  I will continue to make available this story by  Andrea Purvis. Please share in her story and her healing!

Please download the attached story from Andrea Purvis http://www.firstcandle.org/cms/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/purvis.pdf

Please consider joining us on our First Candle’s Support Group pages for Stillbirth and SIDS:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=36937469089 (Stillbirth)

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=38923666957 (SIDS)

Last Updated: Apr 1, 2012